PHILOMENA LIFE STORY NUGGETS PART 2

I am 30now at 2023, it’s been a tough 2021 and 2022, emotionally ,financially, mentally and spiritually, and my husband falling sick was the worst thing ever ,but now better,yet again life is a big battle I been battling to find myself and to be able to live myself to the fullest ,and find peace of mind and happiness.
Nothing comes easy in this life whether your rich poor or even the richest person in the world we all fight silent battle’s.
“”Always remember
All good things come in time commitment, determination and hard work.. All you need is one good idea and work it hard.
By Stuart “””
I have been able to live my life through people’s encouragement and advice from my grandfather ,my mom ,my big eldest brother and my husband and few genuine acquaintances .
“My eldest brother the most giving , humble loyal person I know ,he educated all of us 7 girls his sister’s from primary,to high school to colleges, he still fed us ,and really helped my mom.
He told me some wise words one’s
“”Only help your family or friends when you can , always make sure you don’t deny yourself to help others even if it’s family, always put yourself first ,meet all your basic needs and when you have extras help, remember you need to take care of yourself and the body which is making that money, by Mark””
I have always been taken advantage of becouse of my giving nature and wanting to help but not anymore ,my big brother opened my eyes to reality , people even family will use your weaknesses against you.
A friend of mine called Caren told me this at the beginning of this year
“””you will notice when you start living the life you want you’ll keep attracting abundance and the right people into your life. You’re an amazing person start living like someone who deserves all the best things that the world has to offer.”I pray that you get your power back and go back to being the happy lively girl that you were , by Caren”””””

Like I said over the years of Adult hood I have lost myself and now am trying to find myself,
I had Alot of fake friends in this fake world that I shed off last year.
People who were only my friends to use me and benefit from me ,form my help,
Usership friendships,
Hypocrites who talked behind my back and did unmentionable things to me .
But through my moms prayers and guidance I have been able to overcome Alot and forgive not keep gradges and move on .
Plus there is this mentality that I am married to a white Man everyone assumes am a billionaire so nobody ever offer to do anything for me .
Can you imagine I say or said I have friends but no one has ever treated me for a coffee or lunch , even when my husband was sick I think only 3 neighbours who gave something small for fruit’s and two of my sisters came to see him .
I mean when your Married to a White man people think you got it all and your life is perfect and that you shouldn’t complain about anything or even have anything to complain about ,so yes I live a very friendless lonely life .
Apart from the love I have from my husband and Mom, I have actually never know how it feels genuinely to have a friend who actually loves you genuinely and are not interested in benefiting from you.
And people should know there Alot of poor white men out there ,for example me and my husband struggle to make ends meat like all of you beautiful people out there.

It’s even hard for business ,you employ someone or a company to do some work for you down the line you find out they ripped you off and actually you never got anything close to what you wanted ,that you actually end up spending more money to fix a job you had already paid for and actually was ripped off, in the first place.

It’s a man eat man kind of world, but I have learned Alot this last 10 year’s and I will change or my vulnerable traits like over sharing ,over communicating ,over trusting and also being naïve and gullible,I have been taken advantage of ,used ,abused , mistreated, unloved , taken for granted ,but I have survived it all ,
Yes my simple loving heart that always wants to help has been hardened ,and through Therapy I believe I will change all my vulnerable traits and have Better stronger traits.
Happy 30th year to me .
Love yourself ,do what is right for yourself , always put yourself first .
Put yourself first before your spouse, children family ,and friends and the would.
And always work on having peace of mind ,and happiness